Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
