i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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