YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just invented taco cereal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
