my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
