are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
