Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
