kristin has been a bad kristin
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
