I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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