why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
