how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
