Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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