marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
