So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
please don't ironically join a cult
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