I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
