I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
