So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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