made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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