Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
