she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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