he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
