Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
