i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
