Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
