when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I understand Curling. That high.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
