All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
