This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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