Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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