**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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