...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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