Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
