I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
even my farts smell like vagina
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This toilet bowl is my home.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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