Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
