Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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