If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
