Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
