Already got asked if we're dating
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
