im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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