Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

this is really not the time to pretend we have morals

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko

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(619): View more from California

surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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(816): View more from Missouri

They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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(229): View more from Georgia

Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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(509): View more from Washington

also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?

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