I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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