I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
