Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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