We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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