you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
