I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I touched a dick in church today
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
