This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
