3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
