I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
