i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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