she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
