Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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