If that was your dad, he is hot
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
