i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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