i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize