is your mom at the bar?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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