If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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