I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
