Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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