Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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