Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
