Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
